ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
50 Ways to Freak People Out
In an elevator…
1. Hum the Batman theme incessantly for twenty minutes
2. Wait on the elevator with a big bucket of Skittles until there are a lot of people on there with you. When you get to a high floor or desired number of victims, wait till the door opens and then scream “TASTE THE RAINBOW!” at the top of your lungs, pour the Skittles all over the elevator, and run.
3. Go up to somebody of the same gender and lick them
4. Go up to somebody of the opposite gender and lick them
5. Go up to somebody of any gender and lick them. Then look disgusted and slap them for no reason whatsoever.
6. Drop a penny down the elevator shaft and then scream “NO! MOMMY, COME BACK!”
7. Stare at somebody and lick your lips. Then pull out your cell phone, pretend to dial, and say “I’ve found a likely candidate for our…experiment.”
8. Then glance at them.
9. Then start laughing maniacally.
10. Scream “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!” after a long moment of silence. Then explain calmly that you wanted to break the ice.
11. Stare menacingly at an old woman
12. Then roar in her face
13. When the old woman falls over in fear, apologize and ask if somebody has some breath mints
14. Fart when there are at least six people in the elevator
15. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints
In a public bathroom…
16. Announce loudly when you walk in that you need to powder your nose and ask if anyone has a cheese grater you could borrow. Wait for them to understand your joke. If they don't, look angry and walk out.
17. Tell your friends that you’re going to the bathroom and hide in one of the stalls
18. See how long it takes them to come ask if you’re alright
19. When they come in, quickly squirt ketchup packets in your eyes and run out of the bathroom stall screaming
20. If you’re a woman, pour ketchup on the front of your pants and then walk out acting like nothing’s wrong
21. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints
22. Make grunting and straining noises in a bathroom stall for five minutes. Raise a cantaloupe as far above your head as possible and drop it into the toilet bowl. Then sigh in relief.
23. Tell people you’re going to go to Narnia. Tear up all the toilet paper on the roll, cover yourself with the shreds, and run out of the bathroom screaming “BLIZZARD!”
In general…
24. Offer to walk an old woman across the street…and then run off when she’s halfway across
25. Try to walk through a pillar at a train station. Then walk off muttering “How come the Weasley’s can do it but I can’t?”
26. Pour glitter glue in a little plastic cup and walk around bragging that you took Edward’s urine sample
27. Brag that you’ve harnessed the power of Edward and shoot paintballs full of glitter glue at people
28. Talk to a fat person. No matter what they say, answer with “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”
29. Lather, rinse, and repeat until they start crying.
30. Give them a bar of chocolate. When they thank you, grin and say “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”
31. Then beg them not to sit on you.
32. When you get partnered with a girl in home ec, smile, put on a sock puppet and say “And this is our baby Jeremy” regardless of your gender.
33. Then scream “BABY WANT MILK!” and pinch the girl’s boob really hard while saying “OM NOM NOM!”
34. Wait for her to finish beating the cheez whiz out of you
35. Then ask if she has some breath mints
36. Say “The power of Christ compels you!” after someone farts
37. Go to Taco Bell and order a Happy Meal
38. Go to Taco Bell and tell the drive-through cashier that they’re ‘one taco short of a combo platter’
39. Swerve around on the road in front of a cop car
40. When you’re pulled over, throw a Molotov cocktail into the cop car’s driver seat and take off
41. Laugh maniacally when you hear the explosion. Make sure all your windows are open.
42. Go up to someone and say ‘No habla espanol’
43. Then ask them ¿Usted tiene algunas mentas de la respiración? (Do you have some breath mints?)
44. Demand that the veterinarian give your pet rock its annual shots
45. Threaten to call up PETA when they refuse
46. Complain when the karaoke place doesn’t have any songs in Yiddish
47. Threaten to tell your mom
48. Pick up a prostitute. Right in the middle of your time together, yell “I’VE GOT AIDS!”
49. Tell your BOYFRIEND that his SISTER was better in bed
50. When he gets pissed off, mutter that ‘so was his mom’
In an elevator…
1. Hum the Batman theme incessantly for twenty minutes
2. Wait on the elevator with a big bucket of Skittles until there are a lot of people on there with you. When you get to a high floor or desired number of victims, wait till the door opens and then scream “TASTE THE RAINBOW!” at the top of your lungs, pour the Skittles all over the elevator, and run.
3. Go up to somebody of the same gender and lick them
4. Go up to somebody of the opposite gender and lick them
5. Go up to somebody of any gender and lick them. Then look disgusted and slap them for no reason whatsoever.
6. Drop a penny down the elevator shaft and then scream “NO! MOMMY, COME BACK!”
7. Stare at somebody and lick your lips. Then pull out your cell phone, pretend to dial, and say “I’ve found a likely candidate for our…experiment.”
8. Then glance at them.
9. Then start laughing maniacally.
10. Scream “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!” after a long moment of silence. Then explain calmly that you wanted to break the ice.
11. Stare menacingly at an old woman
12. Then roar in her face
13. When the old woman falls over in fear, apologize and ask if somebody has some breath mints
14. Fart when there are at least six people in the elevator
15. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints
In a public bathroom…
16. Announce loudly when you walk in that you need to powder your nose and ask if anyone has a cheese grater you could borrow. Wait for them to understand your joke. If they don't, look angry and walk out.
17. Tell your friends that you’re going to the bathroom and hide in one of the stalls
18. See how long it takes them to come ask if you’re alright
19. When they come in, quickly squirt ketchup packets in your eyes and run out of the bathroom stall screaming
20. If you’re a woman, pour ketchup on the front of your pants and then walk out acting like nothing’s wrong
21. Then ask if somebody has some breath mints
22. Make grunting and straining noises in a bathroom stall for five minutes. Raise a cantaloupe as far above your head as possible and drop it into the toilet bowl. Then sigh in relief.
23. Tell people you’re going to go to Narnia. Tear up all the toilet paper on the roll, cover yourself with the shreds, and run out of the bathroom screaming “BLIZZARD!”
In general…
24. Offer to walk an old woman across the street…and then run off when she’s halfway across
25. Try to walk through a pillar at a train station. Then walk off muttering “How come the Weasley’s can do it but I can’t?”
26. Pour glitter glue in a little plastic cup and walk around bragging that you took Edward’s urine sample
27. Brag that you’ve harnessed the power of Edward and shoot paintballs full of glitter glue at people
28. Talk to a fat person. No matter what they say, answer with “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”
29. Lather, rinse, and repeat until they start crying.
30. Give them a bar of chocolate. When they thank you, grin and say “Knowing you, you’ll wanna supersize that, right?”
31. Then beg them not to sit on you.
32. When you get partnered with a girl in home ec, smile, put on a sock puppet and say “And this is our baby Jeremy” regardless of your gender.
33. Then scream “BABY WANT MILK!” and pinch the girl’s boob really hard while saying “OM NOM NOM!”
34. Wait for her to finish beating the cheez whiz out of you
35. Then ask if she has some breath mints
36. Say “The power of Christ compels you!” after someone farts
37. Go to Taco Bell and order a Happy Meal
38. Go to Taco Bell and tell the drive-through cashier that they’re ‘one taco short of a combo platter’
39. Swerve around on the road in front of a cop car
40. When you’re pulled over, throw a Molotov cocktail into the cop car’s driver seat and take off
41. Laugh maniacally when you hear the explosion. Make sure all your windows are open.
42. Go up to someone and say ‘No habla espanol’
43. Then ask them ¿Usted tiene algunas mentas de la respiración? (Do you have some breath mints?)
44. Demand that the veterinarian give your pet rock its annual shots
45. Threaten to call up PETA when they refuse
46. Complain when the karaoke place doesn’t have any songs in Yiddish
47. Threaten to tell your mom
48. Pick up a prostitute. Right in the middle of your time together, yell “I’VE GOT AIDS!”
49. Tell your BOYFRIEND that his SISTER was better in bed
50. When he gets pissed off, mutter that ‘so was his mom’
Literature
Funny qoutes
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a pho
Literature
The shortest horror story ever.
"I found your deviantART page." My mother said.
Literature
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS 1
THE LIST OF ANNOYING THINGS!
Written by Redhatpieman
And a whole bunch of friends
Thanks to you all! ^^
1. Pretend to be a famous celebrity and demand free stuff.
2. Change all of your Ss to Zs.
3. Only talk like a gangster.
4. If someone says excuse me, respond with oh, youre excused.
5. When counting, say each number in every language you know.
6. Write random appointments on other peoples day planners.
7. Do the You just won a million dollars
NOT! trick over and over again.
8. Sing songs louder and faster than everyone else (the alphabet works too).
9. Use plastic
Suggested Collections
This is what is wrong with me.
© 2009 - 2024 Mokuze
Comments112
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
MARCO!!!!!!